A: Mom! I want toast! Right this instant!
M: Asher that is not how you ask for something.
A: Mom you have to get me toast RIGHT THIS VERY INSTANT please.
K: Mom what does lame mean?
M: It means when someone can't walk.
A: No it means when someone's dumb.
O: I'm lame!
[and for the next 3 days Ollie told me all about how he was lame]
K: Was there even such thing as parks when you were a kid?
A: When a boy has a mustache, and he's a baby, and he's going to have a mustache, will he have a mustache when he starts as a baby?
M: No bud. Boys get mustaches when they're grown up.
A: Okay. So maybe I will have one someday.
A: [to the pediatrician] Sometimes it's like there's a jar of boogers inside my nose.